I can't seem to stay satisfied for more than a week.

I'm having yet another breakdown.

I feel like I'll never be happy.  I'm acting depressed, much like I was last year towards the end of the school year... but that makes sense since I HATE where I am.  But what if it's not the school, what if it's not the situation, what if it's not where I am... but it's just me.  Maybe I'm just incapable of being happy. 

It's really scary to think about the possibility.  I don't want to make a decision about next year, I'm too scared that I'm just going to fuck it up.  I just want to fast forward til I can have everything I want in life. 

I just want to be happy... but how am I to know what will truly make me happy?  I know Pete does, but more and more I just want to be with him.  So how am I to know that maybe being apart from him is what's keeping me so unhappy.  I'd like to hope that's not the case, because I want to believe there's more to my life than him.  But sometimes I wonder.  Why is it too much to ask just to be happy?  I'm sick of crying myself to sleep every night.